So, what should you do when no one understands you, when no one can bear the pain you feel? You have to let it out in one way or the other. No matter what you do, who you are and what you are going through, only you can understand its gravity. Your life is nothing more than a story to others.
It has been over a month that I have not slept properly. I sleep for a few minutes and wake up to find myself hyperventilating. Just to keep sane I use my phone to start typing notes whenever I feel sad. Yes I admit that I am depressed about loosing her. I lost my dearest sister. No she is not my sister by blood yet she cared about me just like a sister cares for her brother. She was family. From talking to each other everyday for hours to sharing secrets. We knew everything about each other. We had come a long way. The Brother-Sister bonding we had was too strong to break. Well, that’s what I thought.
Like any other brothers and sisters, We too had fights and misunderstandings. So one day just over a chat due to a misunderstanding she blocked me from all her social media accounts. I was both hurt and surprised by her move, this was the first time she had done this. Out of fear I texted my closest friends. I kept telling myself that it was just a temporary roadblock. I cried myself to sleep staring at my phone hoping that she would tell me – I still love you bhai, you don’t need to worry.
“These shallow waters never met what I needed,
I’m letting go, a deeper dive
Eternal silence of the sea
I’m breathing, alive”
I have this bad habit of never deleting chats. I have her chats with me right from the first day when we got to know each other to this day. Restless as I had been I made a travel back in time when things were not so hazy and unpredictable. I sat and stared at those chats. Remembered everything she had promised me over the year. Still wondering what made her take such a decision. I knew she always cared, she was always by my side. Had she given up on me?
After a few days, my phone vibrated flashing her name. Received a series of texts from her
“Bhai please don’t tell people about what happened to me and why we don’t speak”
“I want you to not speak to me”
“I want you to stay away from my life now”
“I don’t need you in my life now”
After recieving these text I went numb for some time. My world sank in spaces around me. I completely lost control of myself, I kept texting her, trying to convince her that everything was just a misunderstanding. She was adamant. I was not stone enough to just give up on a relation I had nurtured over a long period. A bit of pain and restlessness was here to stay.
Afraid of loosing yet another loved one I texted:
” I know you won’t break the bonding that we have over small misunderstandings and fights. I know you won’t leave. I know you won’t break your Promises”
“I’m Sorry for those Promises”. she replied.
This was the final nail in the coffin. I knew it was all over now. Damn! I didn’t even know why this was happening. But I could do nothing about it.
“Where are you now?
Where are you now?
Where are you now?
Was it all in my fantasy?
Where are you now?
Were you only imaginary?”
“No reasons, No answers, No explanations”
Today, According to me, Love is selective. You only love if you benefit from it. People who keep talking about Trust all the time might eventually break it, but a person who you never thought would stand up for you would give his life for it. Yet most of us are stuck on the line:
“I did so much for him / her yet…….? “
You need to understand that love is not an investment where you need to get back your share of the profit. Ask yourself that Did it make you happy back then?
Ask yourself that Can you change anything about it?
Understand that everyone on this godamn earth has the right to choose what they want and when they want irrespective of whether that change will hurt or destroy someone else.
“If something or someone is really worth it, they will never leave you in the first place, come what may”
You can probably never get over someone completely, that would be just theoretical. If you really want to get over someone beautiful, go out and look at even more beautiful things out there in the world. I can assure you, not everyone out there wants to hurt or cheat on you. There are still a lot of good people out there who would love to hear you cry your heart out.
“Most importantly, be the bigger person, forgive the person who hurt you. Forgive them for their betrayals and decisions, be someone who is spectacularly awesome by himself even if you shed a tear from time to time”
Footnotes
1. Disclaimer: The above story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, locales, and incidents if used are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
2. Lyrics used: Faded
Came here after Lester told me. You write really wonderful. Hoping to see something big from you Shoumik. 👍
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Thanks!😊
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A real good read! Good work!
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Thanks for taking the time to read 😊
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if this is fiction you write very well … sounds quite real to me!
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Thanks a lot for taking the time to read!
There always has to be a little reality in every fiction.😊
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lol I guessed so 🙂
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Well it definitely has me believing it’s real. A lot of emotion!
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A bit of reality with the fiction tag! 😊
Thanks a lot for reading!
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You are really good. I almost believed it.
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Thanks for taking the time to read! 😊
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You’re welcome! 😊
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A great read!
Many thanks for stopping by my travel and photography blog. 🙂
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Thanks for taking the time to read! 😊
You have a very lovely blog! Liked the way you write your travel stories and the pictures you include are epic! 💯
Looking forward to a lot more from you!
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No problem, look forward to reading more and thank you for your kind feedback. 🙂
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Its really nice Shoumik! Keep growing 😊. Much more proud to have a great friend like you who express feelings in such a simple and decent way!! All the best man stay blessed.
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Thanks a lot Nisha! 😊💕
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Great storyline. I thought it was a true story until I read the disclaimer. You are quite gifted.
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Thanks a lot for your complement Nancy, I really feel very blessed 😊
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I really thought you were unloading your soul to us and I was about to suggest you come out of all social media until I read your disclaimer. A touching tale and a familiar one today. Keep on writing, you have a .nice style
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Thanks a lot for taking the time to read!
I’m happy you liked it, thanks a lot for the appreciation 😊
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Lovely post
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Thanks a lot! 😊
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This is very good! I really enjoyed reading this!
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Thanks a lot for taking the time to read and appreciate 😊
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Well done, you wrote verry good^^^
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Thanks! 😊
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This is a very powerful story. Nicely done!
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Thanks a lot for reading 😊
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As you say, everyone has a story – and it is probably not too far from this story! You have written it beautifully.
The bonds of friendship are very strange and I have been perplexed more than once by those I considered to be close friends who have abandoned me for seemingly no reason!
They say that you have friends for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Even when you think it is a lifetime, it turns out to be a reason or a season.
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I agree! Betrayal generally comes from people you least expected. All the wonderful slices of time spent together cease to exist. Moving on from situations becomes so difficult for some that people eventually get into bad habits and ruin their life.
Acceptance is the key here!
As soon as we realize nothing is permanent and all this is a phase of life we need to endure the better. After all people have the right to choice and we have to respect that even if it destroys someone they are the flag bearers of the concept ” My Life My Rules”
So your right and I completely agree with your opinion. Thanks for sharing your views with me. 😊❤
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I was totally drawn into the story. I really thought it was your own actually until I read the disclaimer.
Thank you making me believe in its depth. I admire your way of telling a story.
❤️Eva
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Thanks for your appreciation! 😊
You too have a great blog which I enjoyed
Keep Writing looking forward to read a lot more from you 😊
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Thank you for the encouragement as well. I’ll never stop doing what I enjoy and love. You too as well. 😊
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I love it, because your words speak to me, and that means a lot to me🦋thank you.
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Glad you liked it 😊
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